Exploring Motherhood and Labor: Insights from Marie Carle, Labor and Delivery Nurse

Transcript

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Hello, today I have with me Marie Karl.

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Marie is the mother of three, and when she delivered her babies she had a career in marketing, where she worked for 20 years, and then she became a labor and delivery nurse.

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Today, marie is here to share her birth stories.

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She delivered her babies before she became a labor and delivery nurse, which means that now she is able to reflect on those experiences with additional insight.

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Marie, welcome and thank you for joining me.

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Hi Kelly, how are you?

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I'm so happy to be with you today.

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We've been trying to do this for months.

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It's hard for nurses to find time to do stuff outside of nursing when they're not both working.

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And mommy is yes.

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Yes, that too, that is very important.

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Yeah, well, I'm excited to hear the full story because you gave me like a little Cliffs Notes version when we were talking earlier, and I'm really excited because it's pretty dramatic.

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So I'm going to let you go ahead.

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You want to know everything.

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Everything.

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All the juicy details how is your pregnancy and your postpartum, the delivery, of course, and all the things that you learned.

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Okay well, first of all, for me, being pregnant and being a mom was really, really important from the get go.

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I see something I was thinking of ever since I was a little girl that was very, very important to me.

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When I see women these days, you know they are in their 30s and 40s and this is when they're starting to think about it.

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It was not me.

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I was very much interested in doing that Early on.

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I wanted to be a young mom and I got married early and my first daughter was born when I was 23.

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I had another one three years later and then my third was born two and a half years after that.

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So I have my three daughters Now.

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They are 19, 21, and 24.

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The last one actually left the nest two days ago.

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I left her in San Diego and it was heart-wrenching for me, and so I don't have my babies with me anymore.

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I think I'm glad to be a labor and delivery nurse because I get to play with other people's babies, but they're still not mine anymore.

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So that's sad.

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But as far as being pregnant and all that, I don't know if it's because I was so young that it was so easy for me.

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If I'm just lucky.

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I'm just a baby machine, you know, but I became pregnant easily.

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Every time I thought about it I found out that I was already pregnant.

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I had super easy pregnancies, except my second one who made it a little bit more difficult for me, and I'll get into that.

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And then the deliveries, oh my god, they were the easiest part of the whole thing.

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So did I tell you that part?

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I can't recall.

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So basically, my first one, lulu, I was induced at seven in the morning and she was born at 1030 in the morning, so three and a half hours later my second one was induced again at seven in the morning and she was born at 930, and the third took the longest.

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So the third, you know, I was expecting it to be the same, because to me, yeah, you go to the hospital and two and a half hours, three and a half hours later, you have a baby.

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That's what I thought labor and delivery was like for everybody, and so she took her time.

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They were very bold decelerations which showed that there was an issue with the cord and we had to stop pitocin for a while.

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And instead of being born like her sisters in the morning, she was born at 315 in the afternoon.

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So to me that was such a long delivery.

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I was like what's going on with this?

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Kid you, poor thing.

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That's a normal third baby delivery I know, I agree.

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And then when I became an energy nurse and I realized that those poor women were in the neighbor for two days and I was like, oh my God, I was so lucky.

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I had no idea, no idea.

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So, as a summary of my labor and pregnancies, that's what I can give you in a nutshell.

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But it was easy for me.

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I was extremely lucky to the point where I was hoping.

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I really wanted to give that gift to someone who was not able to have babies and unfortunately, the man I was married to at the time, who is the father of my children he's going to listen to that.

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Ooh, I'm scared now.

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He said that he did not want me to do that and that's one of my big regrets because I thought, you know, it's so easy for me.

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I really want to do that for someone, but I was not able to.

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Yeah, so then OK.

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So your pregnancies?

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I mean you were in your 20s, so yeah, I know.

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So that helps Immensely.

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Yes, so your pregnancies were relatively easy.

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Did you have any morning sickness or any annoying symptoms or anything?

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I did?

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Yeah, I did for all three, and so every time I thought that, yeah, they were girls because my pregnancies were very, very similar.

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But what worked for me?

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Because I was sick and my mom had been sick with me, very, very sick, like she had hyper-emesis gravidarum, and so that was very dramatic for her and part of her pregnancy she, when she was done, you know, when she had me she was thinner than before being pregnant and so I was afraid to have the same thing and I realized that somebody gave me a good trick and it works for me almost immediately.

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It was to eat a raw apple in the morning, so in my bed, so I would sleep with an apple next to my bed and that's the first thing I would eat before even getting up or taking my head off the pillow, because it settled my nausea.

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It works for me very, very well.

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I wish somebody had told me that.

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Not sure if it would have worked, but I feel like I threw up every single time, like I stood up and I really I mean, I wonder, I think it has to do a little bit with like the what is it?

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Orthostatic hypotension.

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Yeah, Like with your blood pressure drops, Because sometimes I would stand up and I would just like have to lay back down because I was going to pass out.

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But yeah, that's interesting, to stabilize your blood sugar.

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And then the only thing left is your blood pressure.

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Yeah, that needs to be stabilized, but you don't have both fighting against you.

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So what was the reason that you needed to be induced?

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And then, how many weeks were you when you got induced?

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Okay, so for the first one I was induced at 37 weeks, the second one at 38 and the third at 39.

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You know it was 20, 20 some years ago and I guess it was okay to do that then.

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It would not be done now, yeah.

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You know, because those pregnancies were very normal.

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But for my first I had three weeks of contractions, night and day, and I was exhausted to the point where I went to see my OB and I begged him for an induction because I was like I am going to be so exhausted by the time my baby is born because I cannot sleep.

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And so he said you know what?

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That's a good reason, that's an issue.

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I wonder what ACOG would say about that today.

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I think no, that's a good reason.

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That's funny.

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They would never.

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And then what did they do to induce you?

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Were you already like dilating when you were?

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contracting.

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Every time I was already three centimeters, so I started with spit immediately, yeah, and so within an hour I was in excruciating pain and I begged for the epidural and they were like what you just arrived?

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I don't want an epidural now, that's funny.

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So I got it and they were very surprised when the baby was born so rapidly and they were like, oh, thank God, we gave you the epidural.

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Oh for sure, yeah, did they break your water?

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I recall that for the first.

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I don't recall for the other two, I don't know, yeah, ok.

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So then, when you got your epidural, how long after, at least for the first, how long after did you deliver?

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Maybe a half hour, because.

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I think folks at home listening.

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This is not normal.

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It's not normal.

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Please do not adjust your expectations to Marie's experience You're making.

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your want to cancel me right now.

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Maybe you don't want to.

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I just can't put you out.

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I mean, everybody has their own experience, but I definitely don't want this to be the expectation.

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No, because you're a unicorn.

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You're a unicorn at so many levels, so I remember you had mentioned something about a hurricane.

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When did that occur?

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Oh, so that was my third.

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Oh OK.

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My third.

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So she was born August 25th and there were three hurricanes surrounding her birth.

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I want to say only the 22nd, the 24th and the 27th were the three hurricanes.

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And I was watching TV and I remember seeing all these women who were delivering in shelters, you know, with absolutely no medical help Because the babies were coming and they were in shelters and that's, you know, in the middle of thousands of people screaming and I was like I don't want to deliver in a shelter.

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I was so scared.

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And anyway, she was born on the 25th, so that we were OK on that front and we had boarded up the house because it was in Florida and so it was dangerous and we could get a tree through a branch or something, any type of projectile through the window, and so we had to protect those windows from that, and so we had protected the house before going to the hospital.

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And then she was born and we came back home the next day, so the 26th, just in time before the third hurricane.

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Well, that night we lost power and it was 100 degrees plus in the house with absolutely no air coming through because all the windows were boarded up.

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Oh my God.

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So being at home with two little girls and a newborn, today's postpartum was no fun at all.

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We had two bath stubs and we had to shut them up with water because we knew that the only water we would get for it.

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We didn't know how long.

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When we came out of the house, the trees were everywhere on the road and there was no way for us to actually get out.

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So it was a good thing we had water, but that was something else, and I remember being lost in the middle of the night, in the dark, and telling my husband I can't find my boobs.

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I was like come on, that's the one thing you should be able to find, it's on you.

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And did you say honey?

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I know you can find them.

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Can you help?

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me please.

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Oh, anyway, it's hard to feed your baby when you can't find your boobs.

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That's rough.

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But yeah, it was all in the dark.

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So I guess I was glad that it was my third because at least I had some experience.

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I cannot imagine having that with my first being in the dark like that?

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Yeah, that would be terrifying.

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And then so, other than not being able to find your boobs, how was postpartum for you with all three of them?

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Did you have any significant issues or any difficulties?

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So I guess also because it was 20 years ago and in Florida the trend then was an episiotomy, no matter what.

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So I had three abortions.

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I can tell you, because I had three of those, that they are not as bad as you can imagine.

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I've had two, so it's a straight cut and it's still there.

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But I had those doughnuts cushions to sit on because they don't do anymore.

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Yeah well, I think that's pretty bad.

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Why don't we?

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do it?

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Well, because it puts pressure on the stitches, oh really, and it can cause them to open up, yeah, and it causes increased swelling.

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They don't do them for hemorrhoids anymore.

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I don't think either.

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Or they only do it for a certain amount of time.

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Well, I like them at that time.

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I mean, they make you feel better because you don't have to initially sit on your wound.

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What is very interesting is that for my first, they were not giving ice packs as a way to, as a way to heal, but for my second and my third, it had come up as something that was a good idea, and what a difference it did in the healing process.

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Oh yeah.

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And so you know now, when I have patients and I always tell them Ice is your best friend, it's going to make the whole difference for you, because I know that from my first.

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I didn't have it, and how it helped you know.

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For the other two, but postpartum was okay, I thought that breastfeeding was extremely difficult.

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I really, really had a hard time.

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I am French, as you can hear from my accent, and in France it's not something that's pushed as much as in the US to breastfeed, and so in my culture, you know, I was already not very much persuaded.

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You know that it was the way to go.

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So but I knew that it was good, you know, for the baby.

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So I was like, okay, let's do it.

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So I breastfed my first for three months, because then I had to go back to work.

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So I you know it was difficult Then, like the pumps were really not working and it was bad.

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My second, I breastfed her for five and a half months and then I had to have my wisdom teeth pulled.

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And that was interesting, an interesting conversation.

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My pediatrician told me you have to stop breastfeeding because everything that you know that they will use for anesthesia is going to go to your breast milk.

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So you must stop.

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My dentist and my doctor both told me to keep going because this way my daughter would be sleeping at the same time as me, because she would have some of the anesthesia and then this way we would both be sleeping at the same time and then, when you know, she was ready to eat.

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I would probably feel better by then and be ready to breastfeed her again.

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So two different approaches.

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I chose to stop breastfeeding because I thought she didn't want to give her anything bad like that.

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I don't think either one of those things are really true.

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I mean, based on what we do in labor and delivery, you know, as far as anesthesia goes, I would imagine that the anesthesia that you would have for the dental would be somewhat similar.

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Yeah Right, I mean it's just a little bit of gas that comes out of your system and then you could breastfeed after that.

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I agree with you, but that's so interesting that I mean I remember back then when because I'm old too, I've been around a while- I remember when people used to say that and now we do stuff that's completely different, that's really funny.

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And so on my third, I was like, okay, I'm going to breastfeed forever because I can and I have time, and so I breastfed her for a whole nine months.

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Wow.

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But I thought that it was difficult the whole time, I mean that's not a position for me that felt good.

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I always felt pain, it was difficult, and then, for my third, my breast got engorged, and I don't know if it was because of the hurricane, all that and the fact that I couldn't find my boobs.

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That could be it.

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Maybe I didn't feed her as much as I needed, maybe she was also the smallest and so maybe she was not as strong as the other two.

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Anyhow, my breast got engorged.

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It hurt so, so bad.

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I remember taking warm, warm showers, trying to express some of my milk.

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What ended up working for me was the cabbage leaves, which were unbelievable, and I remember that my breasts were hot enough to actually cook them.

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Oh, my goodness, because they put them on and I removed them when they were cooked, like an hour later, and I was like, oh, I'm making cabbage soup, did you?

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eat them?

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Did you fry an egg on your boobs after that?

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Oh my gosh.

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But it took some of the swelling down and then she wouldn't be able to feed again.

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Wow, my goodness.

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So when you had your babies, you were working in marketing.

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You said you went back with the first at three months.

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Yes, you finished breastfeeding at five months with the second because of your surgery, but had you gone back to work so I had.

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But then I have an interesting story for the second one.

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Actually, when I became pregnant, I was halfway through to my MBA.

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So I had started my MBA, which was paid by my employer, and then I lost my job because they got rid of everybody in marketing and I lost my job.

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I was three months into my MBA.

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Wow, and one thing the one speech that we got at the beginning of the MBA because it was all young professionals, you know, taking the program.

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It was a two year program at night and during the weekends for people who worked, and we were told you know, you're at this age where you may be thinking of having children, don't do it, because it's a two year, very intensive program.

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You're all working, don't do it.

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I was like I was laughing, you know, I had a two year old at the time.

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I was like, yeah, it's not happening to me.

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Three months later I was pregnant and then I lost my job.

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So I lost my job, I continued doing my MBA and my second daughter was born right in the middle of the MBA, now in January.

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So it was December's program and because I had gestational diabetes with her and at the time it was also different.

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The way they did it is that they gave you a calorie counter and they were like okay, you need to stop there.

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They tried to kill me, I think, because they told me to eat 1500 calories a day, which was really not enough.

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The good thing about it is that I stopped gaining weight in September.

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She was born end of January and I stopped gaining weight in September and my belly was growing, my butt was becoming smaller and I came out of there and my jeans were falling off of me when I came out of the hospital.

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But that's the reason why I was able to breastfeed her for longer, because at the time I was just going to school and not working.

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So, to enter that, when my third was born, I was not working.

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I was taking a break because I wanted to focus on the kids.

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That's amazing that you can do that.

00:18:58.255 --> 00:19:00.704
That does help with breastfeeding too.

00:19:00.704 --> 00:19:16.903
So then, when you were doing your 1500 calories a day, which guys don't do that that's not recommended, and I guess I'm just wondering, because I know how nauseous I would get if I didn't eat how did you manage that?

00:19:16.903 --> 00:19:18.340
So?

00:19:19.744 --> 00:19:22.330
I would eat little portions all day long.

00:19:22.330 --> 00:19:36.593
I think that's what was working for me, because otherwise I was not eating all the time as well but often I managed to be under my 1500 and then I would finish with ice cream for the day.

00:19:36.593 --> 00:19:38.444
That's my little pleasure.

00:19:38.444 --> 00:19:41.788
I was not too bad as far as I was hungry.

00:19:41.788 --> 00:19:50.270
I was really hungry, but I did manage my diabetes beautifully, my gestational diabetes beautifully.

00:19:50.270 --> 00:19:57.071
But as soon as she was born, I had no knowledge of all that.

00:19:57.071 --> 00:19:59.006
So I thought that I was diabetic for good.

00:19:59.006 --> 00:20:05.532
And so when they brought me the menu at the hospital, they were like, what would you like?

00:20:05.532 --> 00:20:10.089
And I said well, what is recommended for me because I'm in gestational diabetic?

00:20:10.089 --> 00:20:14.067
And she goes no, Ani, you're done with that.

00:20:14.067 --> 00:20:16.425
Your baby is born, you can have whatever you want.

00:20:16.425 --> 00:20:19.644
I said whatever I want and I ordered five desserts.

00:20:20.662 --> 00:20:21.063
That's good.

00:20:21.063 --> 00:20:23.724
So I just took a class.

00:20:23.724 --> 00:20:30.085
There's a class that we take every six months at the other hospital I work at and they're talking about the first 48 hours.

00:20:30.085 --> 00:20:36.670
Even if you're gestational diabetic, you're more than likely going to have normal blood sugar levels.

00:20:36.670 --> 00:20:42.536
And then if you have to tweak your insulin because you're diabetic before, then, they start figuring that out.

00:20:42.536 --> 00:20:44.065
But there's kind of like a honeymoon period.

00:20:44.065 --> 00:20:46.912
That would have been the perfect time to do that.

00:20:47.012 --> 00:20:49.665
Yeah, I'm so glad I did the right thing.

00:20:50.359 --> 00:20:53.127
Also not recommending that, but I do you.

00:20:53.127 --> 00:21:00.093
I think everybody does a little bit of a celebratory eating after delivery.

00:21:00.093 --> 00:21:12.388
I mean, my husband go to Wendy's and get a bunch of junior bacon cheeseburgers and he basically brought me a bag of junior bacon cheeseburgers and I think I had one or two and then gave the rest to the nurses.

00:21:12.388 --> 00:21:17.570
But yeah, everybody deserves to have their celebratory meal after they deliver.

00:21:17.570 --> 00:21:19.726
And so, did you have any issues?

00:21:19.726 --> 00:21:22.768
How did you, did you feel supported after you deliver?

00:21:22.768 --> 00:21:25.067
Did you have, like, family come?

00:21:25.067 --> 00:21:30.089
How did that look for you Like, as you know, having a career or being in school?

00:21:30.779 --> 00:21:35.809
So my mom came over from France for my first after she was born.

00:21:35.809 --> 00:21:40.989
She missed the delivery and then, after she left, I found a fantastic nanny.

00:21:40.989 --> 00:21:49.749
She was 78 and she had children and she was the most dynamic 78 year old I had met.

00:21:49.749 --> 00:21:53.568
She was on the floor playing with my daughter.

00:21:53.568 --> 00:22:00.153
She was so cute and she had a little book and she wrote absolutely everything that she was doing.

00:22:00.153 --> 00:22:09.585
So when I still have it, I love it, and every time I came home from work she would read her book, you know, to make sure she had not forgotten anything.

00:22:09.585 --> 00:22:15.539
So today we read this and today we did this, and we went to the beach and we did this, and so it was wonderful.

00:22:16.020 --> 00:22:18.888
Yeah, cause they didn't have smartphones back then, right?

00:22:18.929 --> 00:22:19.068
No.

00:22:20.382 --> 00:22:21.326
So it couldn't be something fake.

00:22:21.326 --> 00:22:23.326
And how my nanny sends me photos.

00:22:26.065 --> 00:22:29.192
Yeah, no, she did not have a phone that took pictures for sure.

00:22:29.192 --> 00:22:39.509
So then for my second, my mother in law came, because my mom was not able to come, and then for my third, my mom came.

00:22:40.020 --> 00:22:40.741
So did you have the?

00:22:40.761 --> 00:22:44.411
nanny throughout, or was it just for the first one?

00:22:44.411 --> 00:22:57.951
Then, later on, when they were older, I had a Thai nanny who was an upair and she was wonderful and we're still friends to this day and now we are little twin girls and it's so cute.

00:22:57.951 --> 00:23:07.970
You know she's still part of the family, but, yeah, she helped with doing a lot of things and when, often, when I came home exhausted after work, she had made dinner like a Thai dinner.

00:23:07.970 --> 00:23:09.833
Oh my God, awesome.

00:23:10.881 --> 00:23:12.204
Oh, that sounds amazing.

00:23:12.204 --> 00:23:42.278
I just think it's so important to have that good support system after you deliver and you know somebody that is able to care for your children as well as you care for them when you go to work, because it's so stressful to leave your babies and then so, now that you're a labor and delivery nurse and you've had time to reflect on your experiences, what are some of the things that come up for you that you you know?

00:23:42.278 --> 00:23:52.635
You see what we're doing now, and either what wisdom do you give to moms when you are being a labor and delivery nurse, or what things do you wish that you could have done differently?

00:23:53.558 --> 00:23:53.740
or both.

00:23:53.740 --> 00:24:13.008
Well, I think because, because my inductions were so successful, you know, I don't wish that anything would have been done differently, but you know, I guess it would have been cool to have my labor start naturally, and then, you know, we know how it would have been.

00:24:13.008 --> 00:24:24.181
I'm not sure I'm answering your question, but I'm also the daughter of two anesthesiologists and so for me an epidural is almost essential, because I did not grow up with pain.

00:24:24.181 --> 00:24:38.356
Every time I had pain somewhere, they were there for me to do something about it, and my dad was also one of the first anesthesiologists to actually practice the epidural in the late 60s, early 70s.

00:24:38.356 --> 00:24:47.275
So I am very, very aware of the pain that comes with labor and I'm always helping my patients with that.

00:24:47.275 --> 00:24:49.174
This is really my priority.

00:24:49.174 --> 00:25:03.521
Whether they choose a natural childbirth or a delivery with an epidural, to me their pain control is really, really, really my priority, always, I think, because it was so important to me as well to make sure that this was in check.

00:25:03.950 --> 00:25:12.497
So then, how does your background, with your family being anesthesiologists and I don't know if I want to say pain control, but pain management?

00:25:12.497 --> 00:25:16.998
I think, because I think part of what anesthesia does is that they don't just medicate.

00:25:16.998 --> 00:25:23.020
I think that they practice helping the whole person manage their pain.

00:25:23.020 --> 00:25:24.976
How does that come into playing your practice?

00:25:24.976 --> 00:25:32.375
How do you feel like that has helped you and what kinds of things do you do, especially if your patient isn't ready for an epidural, decided that they don't want one?

00:25:32.630 --> 00:25:47.104
So I feel like in the whole process, very often the partners feel like they are useless and they are dealing with the pain of the laboring patient with so much pain themselves.

00:25:47.104 --> 00:26:05.315
They're very, very frustrated because they're not able to help, and so I often give them a job, I teach them how to do counter pressure, and if the laboring patient is sitting on a ball, then I place the dab strategically on the chair behind her and I said, look, this is what you're going to do and I demonstrate.

00:26:05.315 --> 00:26:10.902
And then he does it, and very often the woman is like, okay, no, I liked it better when Marie did it.

00:26:10.902 --> 00:26:15.295
So I'm like, okay, I need more training for you, listen to me, do it this way.

00:26:15.295 --> 00:26:17.877
So we just make it work.

00:26:18.309 --> 00:26:31.078
And we also change positions all the time, because very often we realize by changing position that some of the contractions are not felt the same way, and so we try to find positions that work better.

00:26:31.078 --> 00:26:38.576
So between dad's and counter pressure and sometimes dancing, belly dancing, I felt that helps a lot.

00:26:38.576 --> 00:27:01.563
So if you pop into my room, sometimes you'll see people belly dancing to the sound of Shakira or whatever, so that, I think, puts their mind someplace else on fun, you know, and that makes them, at least at the beginning of labor, makes the contractions feel a little bit less intense.

00:27:03.252 --> 00:27:09.713
Yeah, I'm going to come in and try to see some of your belly dancing strategies, because I don't know that I've done.

00:27:09.713 --> 00:27:15.261
I've actually gone as far as Shakira for pain management, but I really like that.

00:27:15.261 --> 00:27:19.259
So next time you do that, if I'm on shift with you, come at me.

00:27:19.378 --> 00:27:20.079
I want to see that.

00:27:20.141 --> 00:27:24.640
Yeah, the Shakira method that's awesome.

00:27:24.640 --> 00:27:45.398
I know that when we talked a couple of times before we managed to actually have a successful scheduling of this episode, you had talked about how the method that is utilized in France for delivering babies vaginally, that there are some techniques that are just a little bit different and that they have a very low C-section rate.

00:27:45.398 --> 00:27:54.554
I was wondering if you could elaborate on that a little bit or let me know what you do know as far as how they're doing that, but I know because I don't know much.

00:27:54.854 --> 00:27:59.914
As you know, I became a nurse here, so I have not worked there, so take it with a grain of salt.

00:27:59.914 --> 00:28:00.833
But I do have.

00:28:00.833 --> 00:28:09.679
One of my mom's best friend is actually an anesthesiologist in a labor center in Paris, and so I get a lot of my input from her.

00:28:09.679 --> 00:28:28.740
What she explains is that the laboring down process is a lot longer in France than it is here, so we allow the babies to come a lot lower in the pelvis before we start pushing, and so the women there are expected to push 30 minutes or less.

00:28:28.740 --> 00:28:30.953
So that's my expectation.

00:28:30.953 --> 00:28:32.096
That's the goal.

00:28:32.096 --> 00:28:34.122
I know, I know.

00:28:35.073 --> 00:28:37.400
However, this is not what happens.

00:28:37.400 --> 00:28:39.497
You know it as well as I do.

00:28:39.497 --> 00:28:54.035
You know sometimes we push for hours on end and it's not good for the pelvic floor and the life of you know this particular pelvic floor in the future, because it's going to create all kinds of issues.

00:28:54.035 --> 00:28:59.315
But this is what the doctors are asking us to do here, so we must follow that.

00:28:59.315 --> 00:29:15.982
But I think it's something to be taken into consideration to make this laboring down process a lot longer than it is, so that we can lower the C-section rate and increase the rate of vaginal deterioration.

00:29:15.982 --> 00:29:17.163
Yeah, successful.

00:29:17.970 --> 00:29:20.818
And I think both of you and I have similar expectations when it comes to pushing.

00:29:20.818 --> 00:29:39.945
So there's a lot that we do before that laboring down process even begins to try to avoid the pushing for three to four hours, and I think probably you would agree that if you and I are pushing with somebody for over an hour or so, something else is going on.

00:29:39.945 --> 00:29:41.291
Yeah, right.

00:29:41.372 --> 00:29:44.401
So, we're going to be doing a lot of different interventions to try to.

00:29:44.401 --> 00:29:56.430
Probably most of the time it's the baby's position, but in those rare occasions it could be the corridor, it could be the size or yeah, you know something like that.

00:29:56.430 --> 00:29:58.355
Yeah, we had the prize the other day.

00:29:58.375 --> 00:30:03.569
Definitely we were expecting the baby to be not too big, but there was no way this baby was coming out.

00:30:03.569 --> 00:30:18.794
And after two and a half hours of pushing, actually the doctor was working with came up to the patient and said if you were pushing with somebody else I would say let's give it another half hour an hour, but you're pushing with Marie, so I'm advising.

00:30:18.794 --> 00:30:21.981
At C-section I was like, oh, we should have done that.

00:30:22.413 --> 00:30:23.369
This should have happened by now.

00:30:23.369 --> 00:30:24.457
Yeah, it should have happened.

00:30:24.457 --> 00:30:26.849
And was that baby huge when I came out?

00:30:26.849 --> 00:30:27.894
Yeah, 10 pounds.

00:30:27.894 --> 00:30:28.855
Oh my goodness.

00:30:28.855 --> 00:30:30.082
Yes, that was the one.

00:30:30.102 --> 00:30:37.519
Yeah, I remember I was there and you're like, so I was like yeah you know there's no pressure you could have done, so that would fit for everybody.

00:30:38.813 --> 00:30:40.358
Oh yeah, that's rough.

00:30:40.358 --> 00:30:55.165
I usually ask if you could go back and talk to yourself at the beginning of this process, when you decided to have children, or any crucial part during that process that you felt like you could have benefited from your sage advice.

00:30:55.165 --> 00:30:58.196
From where you are in life now, what would you go back and tell yourself?

00:30:58.390 --> 00:31:17.912
Probably to rest a lot more than I did, because I was the typical young mom wanting to do everything when my kids were sleeping, you know, trying to do the laundry and make the house look impeccable, things that really don't matter, because who cares Really?

00:31:17.912 --> 00:31:18.374
Who cares?

00:31:18.374 --> 00:31:25.041
You're going to be a lot more efficient, a lot more fun, a lot more pleasant for anyone in your environment if you're rested.

00:31:25.041 --> 00:31:28.611
Yeah, absolutely so.

00:31:28.611 --> 00:31:30.517
Who cares if you feel a little bit dirty, you know?

00:31:32.113 --> 00:31:36.194
So that sleep and the baby sleeps, yeah, definitely.

00:31:37.330 --> 00:31:38.635
Also listen to yourself.

00:31:38.635 --> 00:31:41.459
Stop listening to everybody who wants to give you advice.

00:31:41.459 --> 00:31:48.763
Seriously listen to yourself, because I think listening to your guts is what gets you where you're supposed to be.

00:31:48.763 --> 00:32:02.199
Very often I took my kids to the pediatrician or everybody around me was like she's fine, and then there was really something going on, you know, because I could feel it right here and I was like there is something.

00:32:02.199 --> 00:32:26.320
I think a lot of people tend to give advice and they're not always welcome and they're not always true, and so I think listening to yourself is the most important thing you can do as a parent and learn to say I'm sorry very early on, because you're going to mess up, because we're human, and by saying sorry you're not demeaning yourself.

00:32:26.320 --> 00:32:32.817
You're actually showing your kids how important it is to say I'm sorry, so you're teaching them something along the way.

00:32:33.250 --> 00:32:34.711
Yeah, yeah, I agree.

00:32:34.711 --> 00:32:42.340
So I'm a little curious when you say that your father was one of the first anesthesiologists to do epidurals.

00:32:42.340 --> 00:32:44.797
Yeah, did he work in Lieber.

00:32:45.431 --> 00:32:49.161
No, so he did, but that was not the origin of that.

00:32:49.161 --> 00:32:52.500
They was have you heard of General de Gaulle?

00:32:53.070 --> 00:32:59.378
Maybe, if I saw it written, because if I see it written, I'm not going to pronounce it like that.

00:33:00.190 --> 00:33:19.334
He was a very famous French president and we needed to have major surgery and they weren't sure how his heart was going to react to the anesthesia, and so he got one of the first epidurals done in France, and so it was, of course, they talked about it a lot.

00:33:19.374 --> 00:33:25.044
You know how he was completely awake during his major surgery and how it was so impressive.

00:33:25.044 --> 00:33:37.038
And so my dad heard about that and, being an anesthesiologist himself, he was like yeah, you know, I need to learn that, absolutely need to learn that French people were French doctors, were not doing it.

00:33:37.038 --> 00:33:45.577
So he went to Belgium where they were teaching the technique, and he learned it and brought it back in France and you know he used it ever since.

00:33:45.577 --> 00:33:52.740
So he was one of the main physicians who knew how to do that, and he was sent in many different hospitals in France to teach it.

00:33:52.740 --> 00:33:55.738
And then I think it was in 72.

00:33:55.738 --> 00:34:09.643
Yeah, in 72, he was actually invited with my mom they were not married yet, but with my mom they were invited to a hospital in New York to also teach technique, and so At hospital.

00:34:09.869 --> 00:34:11.311
Huh, do you know?

00:34:11.311 --> 00:34:11.873
At hospital.

00:34:13.349 --> 00:34:28.253
I don't know it on top of my head, but I have all the paperwork that my mom actually brought me recently that shows the letter of invitation and then the letter at the end that says thank you for all your help and all that and that's that.

00:34:28.253 --> 00:34:38.117
Was pretty emotional when I saw that my dad passed away four years ago and so I had not seen these papers and my mom brought them to me recently, so I can tell you that later.

00:34:38.409 --> 00:34:52.862
It's so interesting to me because I know that I've worked at at least one hospital that in the area was one of the first to use the epidural and so I think I remember the other hospital that I worked at in New York was one of the first to use.

00:34:52.862 --> 00:34:54.916
So I wondered who went to the hospital I was working.

00:34:54.916 --> 00:35:09.342
Now hospitals in New York merged and changed names and all that stuff, so it might be it might be named differently, and because I can't remember when it merged, I really think it's so cool to find out the history of some of these procedures.

00:35:09.650 --> 00:35:27.186
But so I don't think I told you I was born in the Caribbean completely by chance, because what happened was that my parents had put their names on a list of people to be sent, of doctors and nurses to be sent anywhere in the world where there was a need.

00:35:27.186 --> 00:35:31.574
So they wanted to do some volunteering, you know, and they were sent to.

00:35:31.574 --> 00:35:48.322
My mom was 37, 38 weeks pregnant with me when they got the call saying you're leaving in two days to Dominica, and so they packed up and they went and she was 38 weeks pregnant.

00:35:48.322 --> 00:35:49.293
That's crazy.

00:35:49.293 --> 00:35:51.896
But she always said you know what?

00:35:52.070 --> 00:35:55.380
I felt safe because I was with your dad and I knew you could give me an epidural.

00:35:55.380 --> 00:36:02.599
So my dad left with a little suitcase and he told my mom you know what, even if I have to give it to you in the airplane, I will.

00:36:02.599 --> 00:36:08.215
He had to invert new babies in his life, you know, and he was like I can do that, but you'll have an epidural.

00:36:08.215 --> 00:36:19.960
So we arrived in this little island in the middle of the Caribbean, between Martinique and Guadalupe, completely lost, was a British island, and my dad gave my mom an epidural there.

00:36:19.960 --> 00:36:24.909
What he delivered, you Were you with it in a hospital.

00:36:24.909 --> 00:36:28.318
There was another doctor there who delivered me.

00:36:29.099 --> 00:36:33.257
Yeah, oh my gosh, that's amazing.

00:36:33.257 --> 00:36:34.519
And then what?

00:36:34.519 --> 00:36:52.775
Did they just stay and like take care of other patients while your mom was like yeah, or did your mom just like pack you and like no, my mom stayed there and the entire island came to see me because I was the first white baby to be born on the island.

00:36:53.010 --> 00:36:55.257
So everybody came to see the white baby.

00:36:55.257 --> 00:37:03.434
Oh, my goodness, you know there were no private rooms, it was just two curtains, and so we'll just pull the curtain.

00:37:03.434 --> 00:37:04.376
Look at me, we'll go.

00:37:06.369 --> 00:37:10.695
Wow, I don't know what language they speak in In Dominican.

00:37:10.815 --> 00:37:11.315
In English.

00:37:12.277 --> 00:37:15.003
They do Okay, and do your parents speak English too?

00:37:15.003 --> 00:37:16.527
Yeah, wow, that's so funny.

00:37:16.527 --> 00:37:18.110
Well, marita, this is fascinating.

00:37:18.110 --> 00:37:24.338
Do you have any other fun stories that are birth related about your family?

00:37:27.204 --> 00:37:28.065
I don't think so.

00:37:28.065 --> 00:37:28.753
Well, no, I do.

00:37:28.753 --> 00:37:30.773
My brother has triplets.

00:37:30.773 --> 00:37:35.072
My brother has triplets, oh wow, yeah, they are turning 30 this year.

00:37:35.072 --> 00:37:39.795
So oh my gosh, yeah, where were they born?

00:37:39.795 --> 00:37:40.893
They were born in France.

00:37:40.893 --> 00:37:48.083
So basically, the easiness I had to become pregnant was the opposite for my poor sister in law.

00:37:49.490 --> 00:37:56.804
She did nine in vitro fertilization rounds and it was crazy, nothing was working.

00:37:56.804 --> 00:37:59.277
And the ninth one actually worked.

00:37:59.277 --> 00:38:01.197
They were she had given up.

00:38:01.197 --> 00:38:03.157
She was like I'm never going to be pregnant.

00:38:03.157 --> 00:38:06.418
They had decided to go adopt a little girl in Peru.

00:38:06.418 --> 00:38:10.597
They were ready, they had their plane tickets and they were going to leave in two months.

00:38:10.597 --> 00:38:13.693
And she was pregnant with the triplets.

00:38:13.952 --> 00:38:15.215
Did they also adopt the baby?

00:38:15.255 --> 00:38:15.795
They did not.

00:38:15.795 --> 00:38:18.900
They did not, they were already on, so yeah.

00:38:18.900 --> 00:38:21.023
But yeah.

00:38:21.143 --> 00:38:25.137

Exploring Motherhood and Labor: Insights from Marie Carle, Labor and Delivery Nurse

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