Lindsay Bermudez: How Early Motherhood Challenges Gave Birth to Babycito

Transcript

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Hello, today I have with me Lindsay Bermudez.

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Lindsay is the mother of two and the co-founder of Baby Ceto, an inclusive online community dedicated to connecting parents with family support service providers serving Northern Virginia.

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Today, lindsay is here to share her birth journey and a bit about how that inspired her to create Baby Ceto.

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Lindsay, welcome and thank you for joining me.

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Hi, kelly, thanks so much for having me.

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I'm so excited to hear this and I love Baby Ceto and I love what you're doing and I wish I'd had it when my kids were little.

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But thank you.

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I know I wish I had it too.

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I feel like I hear that a lot from moms with toddler or older kids who are like why wasn't this around before?

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Yeah yeah, but that's why you made it.

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Yes, so hopefully we can serve all the new moms and growing families Exactly.

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Well, tell me about your birth stories.

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You have a three-year-old and a five-year-old.

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Yes.

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So I guess I can start with my five-year-olds, since she was my first pregnancy, labor, delivery, all the things.

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She was born three days early.

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So I was at home I think it was a Friday night I was just laying in bed watching TV and then all of a sudden I felt like maybe I was peeing, but I didn't know what was going on.

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So I kind of was like we're gonna stood up and then it was like a bit of a slow trickle.

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So I was like what's happening?

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Am I peeing?

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I don't know.

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So I went to the bathroom and then by the time I got there it was like a big whoosh.

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So my water had broken.

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So I was like, oh gosh, this is starting, this is happening.

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So I called to my husband my brother-in-law was over and they were like watching TV or something.

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So I was like where would I just scream to them.

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And so of course we're kind of like in panic mode because it's their first child.

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Call the doctor.

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Because I was like I think I don't know if I still wait till I have contractions, I don't remember.

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Do we just go in?

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So we called the doctor on call line and they're like no, since your water broke, come in.

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So I took a quick shower, got my hospital bag, we got all packed up, we went in and then, like on the drive, I started feeling some contractions, very mild.

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But I was like, okay, yes, this is happening.

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Called my parents, texted some friends because we lived in Falls Church and we were driving to DC.

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So on the drives, started having some contractions.

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We got there, luckily, we got checked in pretty quickly and I had always known that I wanted to have an epidural.

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I was like I want to wait as long as I can, but I do want an epidural.

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So got all hooked up to the monitor.

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It was in my room, contractions were getting stronger and I was like I'm gonna wait, I'm gonna wait.

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And then finally my husband was like why just just get it, because they're kind of getting worse?

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And they were also like there might be a wait for the anesthesiologist.

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So like he's like, just do it.

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And I was like, okay, okay.

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So we asked for the epidural.

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I don't think it took too long, maybe like 30 minutes.

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And then the anesthesiologist was there.

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So during that time got a little nervous, felt a little sick.

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Luckily I didn't throw up.

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I thought I was going to with.

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That's like a fear of mine.

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I hate throwing up, so like, oh, I hope this doesn't happen.

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Got the epidural.

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It kicked in.

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It was great.

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Oh, I forgot to mention this but I did have a doula for my first birth.

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A cousin of mine had a doula.

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She highly recommended it and just because it was my first labor, my husband also isn't good with like blood and just medical things.

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So I was like I'm definitely going to need a support person.

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I also kind of get anxious in medical settings.

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It was really funny.

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We got to the hospital, got in the room and then my husband kept saying do you want me to call Amy?

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And our doula's name was Amy, but I also have an aunt Amy.

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So I thought he met my aunt Amy and I'm like what is he talking about?

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So I was like no, don't, like, don't call me an Amy.

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And then like later on then I was like, oh yes, call the.

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Do call doula Amy.

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So luckily she came, she made it, got that epidural and that definitely helped.

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I was very happy with the decision to get that.

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After it kicked in I could feel like it just made me think of like the dentist, like I could feel the pressure, but it didn't hurt.

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So they were tracking my contractions.

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And then my doula had her little blow up bed and got herself set up and was like, okay, we're going to be here for a while.

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This was like I don't know, probably like midnight at this point, and I just remember I was watching HGTV, feeling my contractions, and then I don't know, I guess we, you know, the doula was like try to rest.

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So, but I think I was just.

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I had so much adrenaline, it was just so excited.

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I was like I cannot sleep right now.

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How do people actually sleep?

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So my husband might have slept for a while.

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The doula was like resting.

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And then I remember feeling it and they were like when it feels like you have to poop, let us know or something, or that's like a sign that it's going to be time to push.

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I was feeling more and more pressure.

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I didn't say anything, the duel was there, but I was like, okay, they came in at like 5 AM.

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They're like has anyone been in to check you in a while?

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I was like, no, not really.

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So the nurse checked me and she was like, oh, it's time to push.

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Stuff was like what.

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So in that moment I think I was not ready for it to have happened so fast.

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But the duel was there.

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I was like, okay.

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So, as I said, a little anxious with medical settings and I think just being like you know it's go time, I think that made me anxious.

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So I started feeling a little bit like I was going to pass out.

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My doula had like peppermint essential oil and she was like use this is going to help.

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And then she was luckily communicating this to the nurses for me.

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They ended up like putting an oxygen mask on me to help.

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So we started pushing and they're monitoring Millie, my baby, and I guess her heart rate dropped.

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So all of a sudden the doctor is like prepping an OR.

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So I'm like what?

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Luckily my doula is there.

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She's like okay, this is what's happening.

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The heart rate dropped.

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It's okay, they might have to do this but we're going to try.

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So he was like okay, we're going to try to use the vacuum.

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My doula helped coordinate and communicate all this to me and then, luckily, we did like another on the next contraction.

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We pushed, they vacuumed her.

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They also did an apesiatomy and luckily they got her out.

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So I was saved from having to go to emergency C-section but it was definitely a little scary.

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My husband was like about to pass out, so the doula was with me helping me get through the labor.

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My mom was with my husband on the other side of the room consoling him.

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But luckily, yeah, she came out.

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She was fine.

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She weighed six pounds and four ounces and was healthy.

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Of course I think they had to do like a bunch of extra tests on her since her heart rate dropped.

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So I felt like forever before I got to hold her.

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Bobby, my husband got to hold her first and then they finally gave her to me after like everything checked out and she was fine and I just remember like ugly crying and just being so happy and yeah, so that was the birth story for Millie.

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Do you remember if they told you, if they figured out a reason for the heart rate?

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to drop.

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I think she was just.

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I think they said like she, maybe it's because she was coming so fast, Like she couldn't adjust to the pressure of the birth canal.

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I just didn't know if there was like, sometimes the umbilical cord will be the cause of that.

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Yeah, I don't think.

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I think everything was fine with the umbilical cord, but that was definitely an unexpected like chance.

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I'm just glad it worked out.

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Yeah, and then she was crying and stuff and doing all this she was crying yeah, she was fine.

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I was like my nephew had to get vacuumed as well and he definitely had like cone head so I was a little worried she might have a spout, but luckily her head.

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I mean it was one vacuum suction go.

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So yeah, I think that they most of the time they'll try to put it on so that it's not like on there so firmly and then just guide the head while you're pushing.

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So if it's not like a I mean, ideally it's not a situation where they're tugging, it's like a guiding.

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And then how did your apesia to me heal?

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It was fine.

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I don't remember having any issues.

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I mean I think that was a thing too.

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It just felt like it took forever to get like stitched up after, and I was also waiting to hold melee, so it felt like it was taking a really long time.

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But it was fine.

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I mean, I was like, am I going to have to get stitches removed?

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But luckily it's all the dissolving stitches and I just like did my sit bath like regularly to make sure everything was healing properly.

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Yeah, they're really good at making sure everybody has a sit bath.

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And so then, how is postpartum for you, for your first?

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Postpartum was fairly it was good.

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I think my main concern and issue that kind of made it difficult was breastfeeding.

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So I knew I wanted to try to breastfeed and do my best.

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I wasn't like it has to be this way, but that was my goal and it was definitely hard.

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I mean I left the hospital with like cuts on my nipples because she just like wasn't slatching well and it was so painful.

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So after I went home I had been doing prenatal yoga at Virginia Hospital Center so I had known about a breastfeeding group they had there with Susan Howard.

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I was a lactation consultant in Arlington so I went to one of those groups and it was super helpful.

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I got advice from the other moms and then also Susan facilitated things and also shared about her services.

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So I ended up working one-on-one with Susan to try and improve my breastfeeding situation.

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I was using nipple shields all the time and it just didn't seem like she was latching while we're getting enough.

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So Susan kind of helped me figure that out and we did the waits before and after and she did help me get my supply up.

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But then when Millie was like five or six weeks, she had blood in her stool and Was like crying.

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Of course it's the middle of the night right when this happens.

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And so we took her to Anova and we were like what is this?

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So basically we learned she had milk protein intolerance and that's how it like manifested for her.

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So they at the hospital, they gave her some Nutramigen, which is hypoallergenic formula.

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You'd be fed her that.

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She took it fried in a bottle and then I tried to eliminate dairy soy for like two weeks after that and then breastfeed again, but she still.

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She had like bright green poops.

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So for any help out there, I mean it was just something we were Supplementing with formula.

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So I was like, oh, I know breastfed poops are like yellow, but maybe because we have a little bit of formula and there too, that's why the color is different.

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But luckily, at the breastfeeding group I brought that up and Susan was like no, that shouldn't be happening.

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So that was like our first clue, and I think shortly thereafter was when she had the blood in her stool.

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So we ended up just taking her, I stopped breastfeeding, we ended up putting her fully on the new Tramogen for her first year and she did great on that.

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She was the chunkiest baby ever and I mean it smelled terrible, but she was happy and didn't have any GI issues on the new tramogen.

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So other than breastfeeding, I feel like postpartum what went pretty smoothly.

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I have my in-laws lived close by, so we had their support.

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And then my parents also Lived with us from when Millie was three months until she was one, so not that like immediate Fourth trimester, but they were there too to support with having our new baby Nice.

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So then go ahead and share.

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Yeah, your second delivery and kind of how it's juxtaposed with your first.

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It is so different.

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So with Ruben I was pregnant, I kind of wanted to do the same Same thing as I did with Millie, like get in, get an epidural and just go through kind of the same motions.

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And Ruben, of course, had another idea, as babies do.

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But I it was like a week before he was due I went into labor.

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So I had been dilated like three or four centimeters for about a week I think.

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I felt some like mild Braxton Hicks contractions.

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Actually I did, because once, I think, we called the hospital or I was like we might be coming in, but then I felt okay, so we didn't go.

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But it was about two thirty in the morning I woke up to a sharp contraction and I was like, oh, okay, that's interesting.

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So I just kind of like laid in bed playing on my phone.

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I was like, let me see what happens.

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So probably like 10 or 15 minutes later another really sharp contraction.

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So like, oh, this is happening, okay.

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So I woke up, my husband got my stuff together I think I might have taken a quick shower again, thinking like, oh, this is, if I did last time, I'll do this again and the contraction started coming faster.

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My husband called my mother-in-law so we live in Annandale.

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My mother-in-law is in Falls Church so she was gonna come to our house to watch Millie, who was Two, just over two at that point while we went to the hospital.

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So again she's on her way.

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I'm having really sharp contractions that are coming faster and faster.

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I went to stand outside because I was moaning and in pain and I couldn't even control it and I was like I'm gonna wake up Millie and let me go outside.

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My husband calls our arm, call doctor, gets ahold of him and then is like what do we do?

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She's in labor because we're in Annandale.

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I was supposed to deliver again in Sibley and it's in DC.

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And the doctor's like well, first thing doctor says to my husband is that your other child screaming in the back?

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And he's like no, that's my wife.

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So then the doctor's like if you have to go somewhere else, you have to go somewhere else.

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So luckily our you live like a mile down the road from an over fare fax.

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So get everything packed up, get in the car.

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It's like three, 12.

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At this point I think we looked at the time because I remember as we're pulling out of the driveway we call Bobby's mom.

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She still wasn't at our house.

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But I was like we got to go because I kept, I was screaming, I was like he's coming and I could just feel the pressure coming down, like I know what this feeling is.

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And he is about to come out.

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So my husband obviously very frazzled and and then calls his mom as we're leaving.

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He's like we gotta go, we gotta go, we're leaving.

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She's like, okay, I'm almost there.

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So we literally left Millie in the house, like just locked her in the house, left Before his mom had even arrived.

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We're going down the road and my husband's like what do I do?

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What do I do?

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I'm like just get to the hospital.

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So we pull in.

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He pulls into, like the ambulance bay and then of course I'm like this is not where you'll get.

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But he pulls in and it was so great that he did because they like see us nurses come running out.

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He's like my wife's in labor.

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So they come up to the side of the car I'm still screaming, he's coming out and they're like okay, okay, they get me on a stretcher and they start rolling me up.

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So then I guess a security guy says to my husband like I'll take your car a, park it, no worries.

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And they tell him like wait here.

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A nurse comes to get him.

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As they're feeling me, they had to take me up to a different floor and we live being somewhere else.

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And a nurse comes and is like are you dad?

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He's like, yeah, you're like we got a run.

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So apparently they run with him through the hospital While they're carting me down the hallway.

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They're like how many weeks are you?

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I mean, they have like none of my information, so they don't know what we get into the room.

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I'm screaming, I'm in like incredible pain and of course I'm like I want an up and down.

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And they're like, oh no, I can't do an up and down at this point, so sorry.

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And so of course I was like this is my worst nightmare.

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It's happening, no pain medication.

00:15:19.389 --> 00:15:22.913
So luckily the like nurses and the team were great.

00:15:23.095 --> 00:15:26.990
They get my husband up there and of course my husband tells the nurse like I'm not good with blood.

00:15:26.990 --> 00:15:35.149
So she walks him with his back to me around the room and then till he's like next to my head.

00:15:35.149 --> 00:15:41.306
Then she turns him around and then one of the other nurses looks at him and she's like someone, get this guy some some orange juice.

00:15:41.306 --> 00:15:42.870
She's like, sir, you cannot pass out.

00:15:42.870 --> 00:15:45.264
We don't treat dads here, we only treat moms.

00:15:45.264 --> 00:15:50.259
So they get him orange juice and I had been asking for water the whole time.

00:15:50.320 --> 00:15:55.720
I just remember my mouth was so dry and I was like I just want to swallow, like can I please get some water?

00:15:55.720 --> 00:15:59.419
And I don't even remember maybe they got me some before I delivered.

00:15:59.419 --> 00:16:02.533
But so the contractions are coming hard there.

00:16:02.533 --> 00:16:26.576
The nurses are like holding my legs, bobby's, up by my head, and they're like you have to push on the next contraction and I was like I can't, I can't, but somehow I did it and I think it was probably like a couple rounds of pushing, like couple contractions and pushing, and then he came out and it was super painful but it happened and I was just glad that it was over so fast.

00:16:26.576 --> 00:16:31.605
So we had left our house at 312 and he was born at 333.

00:16:31.605 --> 00:16:33.071
So it was super fast.

00:16:33.071 --> 00:16:40.995
So I'm glad my husband went in the ambulance bag because if not, if we went into like the ER entrance, I probably would have like delivered on the floor of like checking in.

00:16:41.345 --> 00:16:43.933
So my God, it was very lucky.

00:16:43.933 --> 00:16:48.075
So that was a very different situation with Ruben being born.

00:16:48.075 --> 00:16:48.777
But he was fine.

00:16:48.777 --> 00:16:53.066
He was seven pounds, 10 ounces, cried right away, no issue.

00:16:53.066 --> 00:16:54.009
So like that was cool.

00:16:54.009 --> 00:17:00.032
Because when they took him out they like put him on my chest, like with the umbilical cords, the little attach I didn't have last time.

00:17:00.032 --> 00:17:00.730
So that was.

00:17:00.730 --> 00:17:02.504
That was a nice different experience.

00:17:02.524 --> 00:17:03.890
Yeah, he was like ready to go.

00:17:03.890 --> 00:17:05.530
He's like I got this mom, don't worry about it.

00:17:06.385 --> 00:17:06.666
Wow.

00:17:06.666 --> 00:17:10.732
So yeah, it was like literally an hour from my first contraction till he was born.

00:17:10.904 --> 00:17:22.346
So sometimes I ask people this I have certain descriptors, because people always ask me what it feels like when you feel that pressure or when some people ask me at what point do I recommend the epidural?

00:17:22.346 --> 00:17:26.845
So what does it feel like when I recommend the epidural, but you've actually done it without an epidural?

00:17:26.845 --> 00:17:35.519
Do you have any descriptors for that pain or is it just your brain just checked out and when the contractions first started it felt like really bad, almost GI pain.

00:17:36.308 --> 00:17:37.903
Like I was going to have diarrhea that kind of pain.

00:17:37.903 --> 00:17:46.792
So I was actually on the toilet before we left but I was like, oh, this is just birth, this is not like anything else happening, and then just turned up to a hundred.

00:17:46.792 --> 00:17:50.173
I guess, from there and then, like delivery pain.

00:17:50.173 --> 00:17:52.684
I just can't think of what to compare.

00:17:52.684 --> 00:18:02.027
Yeah, just really, just like primal Sharp, and I don't know if I would have survived if it wasn't so fast but, I'm grateful for that, yeah.

00:18:02.307 --> 00:18:02.891
I feel like.

00:18:02.891 --> 00:18:11.798
So when I'm trying to tell people when to get the epidural, I usually say we've all had diarrhea or not just diarrhea, like specifically very intense food poisoning pain, yeah.

00:18:11.798 --> 00:18:22.036
So if you get to that point where you're like, oh my gosh, I'm going to birth an alien, maybe that might be a good time to really consider the epidural if you don't have one already.

00:18:22.036 --> 00:18:33.336
The other thing is the pain that most people find intolerable is when the pressure feels like if you've ever stubbed your toe or had somebody run over your toe with a heavy object.

00:18:33.336 --> 00:18:47.417
That's the kind of pain that I they say pressure, but really it's like that deep bone pain almost, Because what it is is your baby's head pushing on your pelvic bones and the soft tissue in between.

00:18:47.417 --> 00:18:48.500
So that's what I mean.

00:18:48.500 --> 00:18:58.978
Yes, you can get through it without pain medication and theoretically, if everything's going well, it's not pain that signals a pathophysiological process.

00:18:59.506 --> 00:19:00.750
It's a natural process.

00:19:00.750 --> 00:19:03.252
It's not injury necessarily.

00:19:03.252 --> 00:19:16.250
So that's where, like some of those classes like hypnobirthing and mindset classes, come in, where it's just like, if you think about the fact that this is not a pathophysiological process, it's not indicating that something is wrong.

00:19:16.250 --> 00:19:17.875
It's natural physiology.

00:19:17.875 --> 00:19:25.678
It's not even food poisoning Like food poisoning is more unnatural than the birthing process.

00:19:25.678 --> 00:19:34.233
So if that, if you can wrap your mind around that, then all that pressure and however you have to visualize it technically is normal.

00:19:34.233 --> 00:19:42.785
So if you can flip that switch in your head and think, oh, this is a natural process, as I can get through that, then you might be a person that can plan for a natural birth.

00:19:42.785 --> 00:19:44.311
Now, you did not have a choice.

00:19:45.578 --> 00:19:47.267
No, and that's the thing I'm like.

00:19:47.267 --> 00:20:05.048
Oh man, I wish I had not, that I can't expect how it's going to go, but I was like I wish I had taken some class to be more prepared for natural childbirth or childbirth without medication and if I ever get pregnant again, which the plan right now is not- to but it shouldn't ever happen.

00:20:05.048 --> 00:20:11.276
I think I would have to do that or I'm going to have to live outside of the hospital for like the last two weeks of my pregnancy.

00:20:12.058 --> 00:20:16.194
Yeah, or both, probably both, or just have somebody that can come to your house and catch your baby.

00:20:17.346 --> 00:20:18.991
You know, you could also call an ambulance.

00:20:19.051 --> 00:20:19.733
That's another option.

00:20:19.733 --> 00:20:23.469
Sometimes we forget that.

00:20:24.492 --> 00:20:24.814
Yes.

00:20:25.806 --> 00:20:28.851
That's so crazy For your postpartum experience.

00:20:28.851 --> 00:20:29.634
What was that like?

00:20:30.006 --> 00:20:41.079
It was the postpartum, I think was even better with Ruben, and I don't know if that's because I didn't have the apesiatomy or what, but I felt like I healed more quickly.

00:20:41.079 --> 00:20:56.057
So he was born October 24th and I remember like a week later was Halloween and I was like out at our neighbor's house with my daughter Not that I was like out long, but I was up and around and doing things, being social.

00:20:56.057 --> 00:21:05.325
So as far as recovery, I feel like it was it was better and I don't know if that's just generally how it goes with like a more natural tear, but they definitely had to like stitch me up after.

00:21:05.325 --> 00:21:13.064
So that was interesting too, because I had to get medicated Novocaine at that point and I was like, oh, this is different, but that was good.

00:21:13.265 --> 00:21:25.909
And then with him, I tried to have him breastfeed at the hospital and didn't latch well, had another cut and like bruise on my nipple at the hospital and I was just like you know what, I'm not doing this, I'm not going to do it.

00:21:25.909 --> 00:21:32.785
So I was like you just ripped out of my body like a bat out of hell and you know what I'm just I'm not going to breastfeed you.

00:21:32.785 --> 00:21:41.316
And it was like so freeing to me in that moment to be like, no, I'm just going to feed him formula or I'll pump and feed him from a bottle, but he's going to be fine.

00:21:41.316 --> 00:21:50.545
And I'm just doing that for myself, just knowing how hard breastfeeding was the first time and that that was really the emotional downside for me was breastfeeding.

00:21:50.545 --> 00:21:53.545
That's when I was crying or just feeling like I was a bad mom.

00:21:53.545 --> 00:21:55.664
It was all related to the breastfeeding aspect.

00:21:55.664 --> 00:21:58.404
So I just decided, nope, I'm not going to do this.

00:21:58.625 --> 00:22:02.025
I did pump for maybe like three weeks and I didn't get a lot.

00:22:02.025 --> 00:22:04.490
My supply was not great, just like the time before.

00:22:04.490 --> 00:22:09.392
But he got some breast milk to start and then, yeah, we just did formula.

00:22:09.727 --> 00:22:13.092
Did you have to do the new Tremogen again or did he have any issues?

00:22:13.092 --> 00:22:13.934
We did.

00:22:15.346 --> 00:22:17.393
We had tons of GI issues with him too.

00:22:17.393 --> 00:22:21.096
He was really gassy and then he also did have some blood in his stool.

00:22:21.096 --> 00:22:27.038
We went through like six or seven different kinds of formula with him, just trying all these different things.

00:22:27.038 --> 00:22:31.936
It didn't really work or it didn't help the gassiness that he was experiencing.

00:22:31.936 --> 00:22:39.900
So we did like gentlies and a few others that were specifically for gas.

00:22:39.900 --> 00:22:42.617
Then we tried new Tremogen.

00:22:42.617 --> 00:22:43.664
That didn't really help.

00:22:43.664 --> 00:22:47.785
We were seeing a pediatric GI so he recommended that we tried.

00:22:47.785 --> 00:22:49.108
What did he say?

00:22:49.108 --> 00:22:54.125
Oh, we also tried new Tremogen, like in the liquid form, like the pre-prepped kind.

00:22:54.125 --> 00:22:55.170
He was like try that.

00:22:55.170 --> 00:23:00.029
So there's something about different formulations of the dry versus the liquid form.

00:23:00.029 --> 00:23:01.894
Tried everything we actually.

00:23:02.335 --> 00:23:04.160
And then he was having silent reflux.

00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:17.381
So he would take an ounce or two of milk and then reflux Like we wouldn't hear anything or like it wouldn't come out, but then he would just start crying and he would refuse to take any more from the bottle.

00:23:17.381 --> 00:23:22.101
So we got all the way up to EllaCare, which is prescription formula.

00:23:22.101 --> 00:23:25.519
They have to like specifically order it and send it to your house.

00:23:25.519 --> 00:23:29.579
And then we tried that and that made the reflux worse.

00:23:29.579 --> 00:23:34.894
He was on medication, a protein, a PPI I'm going to forget what that stands for.

00:23:34.913 --> 00:23:38.752
Proton pump inhibitor yes, thank you, he was on one of those.

00:23:38.752 --> 00:23:40.077
Didn't really seem to help.

00:23:40.077 --> 00:23:46.522
And then a friend of mine, her daughter, had been on soy formula and she was like, just try soy.

00:23:46.522 --> 00:23:55.000
The doctors, the patricians, were saying don't do soy, because a certain percentage of kids who have milk protein intolerance also have soy protein intolerance.

00:23:55.000 --> 00:24:05.615
But it just got so bad I felt so that was a point that I felt really low as mom, cause I was like all my baby has to do right now is eat and grow and he can't even do that.

00:24:05.615 --> 00:24:08.259
And we're we're trying everything and we're not finding the solution.

00:24:08.259 --> 00:24:11.459
So I was just kind of like nothing can be worse than it is right now.

00:24:11.459 --> 00:24:15.319
So we tried soy and it was like a switch flip.

00:24:15.319 --> 00:24:16.051
He was great.

00:24:16.051 --> 00:24:25.661
We took him off the PPI, he was fine, didn't sound reflux, and so he was on soy formula for his whole first year or from like three months.

00:24:25.661 --> 00:24:30.641
It took us a while to get there, but from three months till one he was on soy formula.

00:24:30.910 --> 00:24:33.317
Do they still have the milk protein allergy?

00:24:33.630 --> 00:24:34.835
So we tried Millie's good.

00:24:34.835 --> 00:24:36.496
She drinks 2% milk.

00:24:36.496 --> 00:24:38.876
Now she had no problem transitioning when she was one.

00:24:38.876 --> 00:24:44.500
Ruben, we tried to transition to whole milk when he was one, but then he was getting constipated.

00:24:44.500 --> 00:24:51.974
So we did soy milk for a little while and then our patrician recommended oh, milk, so that's what he's drinking now.

00:24:52.230 --> 00:25:00.834
So after I had Ruben so if he had his milk protein issues, he also wasn't sleeping well, which was probably related.

00:25:00.834 --> 00:25:07.141
But about when he was like two months we were still lucky to get a three hour stretch of sleep.

00:25:07.141 --> 00:25:18.000
That was a long time and we had Millie who was two and we were losing our minds a little bit so we wanted to try to hire a night nurse for a few nights to try and regain some sanity.

00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:25.856
So of course, you're in the newborn haze and you were on Google just like night nurse Ann and Dale help us.

00:25:25.856 --> 00:25:35.921
And it just felt weird to be looking for that position on Google, like the big wide internet, because that person's in your home with your newborn while you're sleeping.

00:25:35.921 --> 00:25:37.836
Nothing vulnerable about that?

00:25:37.836 --> 00:25:40.515
No, not at all, not intimate or anything.

00:25:40.849 --> 00:25:51.865
So, yeah, I was like this feels strange to be finding this person on Google, so I just kind of wondered why there wasn't a place parents could go and know the providers were local and trusted.

00:25:51.884 --> 00:25:51.984
Yes.

00:25:53.330 --> 00:25:57.890
And you know that someone another family has used and had a positive experience with.

00:25:57.890 --> 00:26:19.942
Because I feel like as parents and moms, if another mom says to you, oh I used this nanny, like you're going to work with your neighbors to set them up with your nanny, our nanny is great, I feel like as a parent that's like all you need to take that first step at least to engage with that provider and be like let me check them out, so kind of having that built in to the providers we have and built into that network.

00:26:19.942 --> 00:26:21.695
So I just kind of wondered why that wasn't there.

00:26:21.695 --> 00:26:26.381
And then another part of our website is the service registry.

00:26:26.381 --> 00:26:34.656
So for parents who are expecting, they can register for services like a night nurse or a doula or a lactation consultant.

00:26:34.656 --> 00:26:39.181
And that part of the business kind of came from a previous experience.

00:26:39.289 --> 00:26:45.002
So a year before my husband and I got engaged and then a month later bought our first home.

00:26:45.002 --> 00:26:59.519
So while we were registering for our wedding, registering for like China, which I was like I don't really care about really nice plates, like I'd rather have someone like a home cleaning service, can someone come and help us clean our home once a month.

00:26:59.519 --> 00:27:01.738
So I was like how do I register for that?

00:27:01.738 --> 00:27:07.470
And at that time I just wasn't aware of any avenue to do that no-transcript.

00:27:07.470 --> 00:27:18.051
Back then that was 2015, I think I was like, oh, I had an idea I was going to call it carefree registry, where you could register for services for all different things.

00:27:18.051 --> 00:27:20.923
But then of course, life happens, we got married.

00:27:20.923 --> 00:27:23.306
I was pregnant like three months later.

00:27:23.306 --> 00:27:26.548
Then I didn't do anything with it.

00:27:26.548 --> 00:27:34.593
So kind of marrying those two ideas of that trusted directory and then also a way to register for services.

00:27:35.253 --> 00:27:35.515
Nice.

00:27:35.515 --> 00:27:37.661
I really love that idea Again.

00:27:37.661 --> 00:27:41.711
Wish I'd had it when I needed it.

00:27:41.980 --> 00:27:52.489
I wish I had the registry because I'm like I would have registered for all these services, like chiropractic care I mean, in so many things I didn't learn about either until building Baby Cito.

00:27:52.489 --> 00:27:54.291
I didn't know, right yeah.

00:27:55.559 --> 00:28:01.867
Well, and I think that is a huge thing that I love, because honestly, I mean, with my daughter I was in New York and I was just kind of in no man's land.

00:28:01.867 --> 00:28:06.651
I had a couple of friends that had had babies recently and they were like, oh, reach out to these people.

00:28:06.651 --> 00:28:10.150
And I did, and it was good, but I could have used a lot more support.

00:28:10.150 --> 00:28:16.381
And then so when I got here, it took me like a year to get in with the moms group that I'm in now.

00:28:16.721 --> 00:28:48.211
That, I feel like, is where I've gotten most of my referrals, but still it's piecemeal, because if someone is out there talking about something, then that's how I learned that it exists, whereas if I had one place to go where you could see what all the service providers are and what all the categories are, then I feel like I would have probably been a little bit more receptive to taking advantage of that, or at least known that it was there and known that it was an option, so that if I even get to that point that I need it, then I know who to reach out to, especially like with lactation and stuff.

00:28:48.900 --> 00:29:10.491
I mean, again, I'm a nurse, so I had friends that were able to text me, so like I would be texting the lactation consultants that I work with, but also they would slowly start saying, hey, if you wanted this additional help or if you wanted to do the weigh-ins or anything like that, you could probably go to an Arlington lactation was definitely one that they would recommend.

00:29:10.491 --> 00:29:13.749
So it was just very, very disorganized.

00:29:13.749 --> 00:29:31.308
The way that I was able to finally start having a support system that I built around me and I feel like most moms feel the same way- yeah, totally, and I feel like, especially in this area, it's a little more transient, so people don't necessarily have their family and friend networks close by.

00:29:32.000 --> 00:29:47.064
And, yeah, if you haven't found that moms group yet, or like I was the first one of my friends in this area to have a kid, so it's not like my closest friends had gone through these experiences and could give me some advice, so, yeah, being able to have that in one place.

00:29:47.064 --> 00:29:56.250
We also have a free service guide, so for people who are expecting, they can download and it kind of walks them through what services they might want to take advantage of and when.

00:29:56.250 --> 00:30:01.372
It also has a glossary so you can like see the definition of what different things are.

00:30:01.372 --> 00:30:03.487
But, yeah, education is a big piece of it.

00:30:03.487 --> 00:30:16.428
I was a teacher in FCPS for 10 years, so I think that's just part of my core and who I am, but helping educate parents so that they know what's out there Should you run into an issue or need support.

00:30:16.428 --> 00:30:24.450
Just helping parents navigate that more easily and knowing that there is support you can get, especially if you know ahead of time, it's more helpful.

00:30:24.509 --> 00:30:25.330
Yeah, definitely.

00:30:25.330 --> 00:30:26.393
I love the registry.

00:30:26.393 --> 00:30:33.128
I'm kind of stuck on that very envious, because, honestly, how many ones do you need?

00:30:33.759 --> 00:31:12.269
Well, I think that's a thing and one of our dream visions is that we will help in the future kind of shift the culture of gift giving, especially for baby showers, so that my dream vision is that everyone has a registry for things because, especially with your first, you need things for sure, but that you also have a registry for services, because you don't need 30, zero to three month size onesies it's going to be fine, you can wash them and you do need a lactation consultant or a babysitter or a night nurse, someone who's going to give you the support to help you maintain your sanity and kind of navigate that really emotional and challenging postpartum period.

00:31:12.289 --> 00:31:13.070
Yeah, or therapy.

00:31:13.070 --> 00:31:14.433
That was another big one.

00:31:14.433 --> 00:31:15.965
It was insurance didn't cover that.

00:31:15.965 --> 00:31:17.041
If you're not sleeping.

00:31:17.041 --> 00:31:23.309
I mean, I guess if you have to choose between therapy and sleep, I know you're going to choose, but sometimes having somebody to talk to is a good thing.

00:31:24.301 --> 00:31:25.747
Yes, yeah, we have that.

00:31:25.747 --> 00:31:26.401
That's like.

00:31:26.401 --> 00:31:28.488
One of our categories is mental health.

00:31:28.488 --> 00:31:39.647
That's something that I definitely want to encourage all moms to check out, all birthing people to check out, and then also let them inform their partners that it's there, just in case you get to that point.

00:31:39.647 --> 00:31:49.559
I think if you're in a place where you're experiencing any postpartum depression or anxiety or mood disorder, it's harder to help yourself and find the help you need.

00:31:49.559 --> 00:32:07.625
So if you and or your partner know, oh, there's this resource and I can go find one, even better if you can kind of like find it before and be like, oh, if this happens, this person accepts my insurance or is close by or offers virtual care, so I can just kind of connect with them and set something up.

00:32:07.625 --> 00:32:08.307
That's amazing.

00:32:08.799 --> 00:32:11.449
Well, Lindsay, was there anything else that we didn't cover that you wanted to share?

00:32:11.980 --> 00:32:13.126
No, I don't think so.

00:32:13.126 --> 00:32:20.652
I mean, I think, just want to make sure all birthing persons parents know that we are here to help.

00:32:20.652 --> 00:32:21.753
Baby Cito is here to help.

00:32:21.753 --> 00:32:46.271
We are just in Northern Virginia right now as far as the providers but the service registry anyone anywhere can use, because you can create your own services to add, and we just want to encourage people to reach out to us if they need any support, and we'd be happy to help help families find what they need, whether that's a doula, a lactation console and, like we've been talking about, or even something like a soccer focused summer camp.

00:32:46.271 --> 00:32:51.648
We can help with that as well, because the services you need don't stop when your kids won.

00:32:51.648 --> 00:32:52.250
They just change.

00:32:52.289 --> 00:32:56.337

Lindsay Bermudez: How Early Motherhood Challenges Gave Birth to Babycito

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